A Very Merry Christmas

My five year old daughter, Kelly, was due on Christmas Day. She ended up arriving three days early and I had the privilege of bringing her home on Christmas Eve. That night my husband (who was set to depart within weeks for the Middle East in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom) took Hunter (then age 1) out to celebrate Christmas Eve with our extended family. I remained at home and remember sitting in my rocking chair snuggling this precious baby on Christmas Eve and thought, “This is the best Christmas gift ever. Nothing can ever surpass this moment.” I felt like I was living the lyrics of the song “Silent Night.” Everything was peaceful and serene. Ever since, Kelly is affectionately known in our family as the best Christmas present ever. I had no idea God would give me another “Christmas” child almost five years later. 

Kelly celebrating her fifth birthday!

My favorite Christmas present ever!

We (my husband, Uncle Laine, Eva, Adolf, and I) were asked to share our story as part of the sermon this past Sunday at Emmanuel Presbyterian Church. Pastor Bond (a wonderful friend and pastor) asked each of us a few questions and had me read one of my blog posts. Then he asked Eva to speak a bit about Adolf and her orphanage. She told the story of how Adolf was discovered by the orphanage, which I had only previously heard in segments. Here is her story.

“Each Christmas we take turns taking the children shopping in the village. It is the only time all year they are able to shop and choose something for themselves. Most choose new clothes or shoes and the children look forward to it. Two years ago, Auntie Faith [the director of the orphanage] was out shopping with a group of children. She saw a very dirty boy wearing tattered clothes crawl out of a bush. He was very skinny and did not appear to have anyone caring for him. Auntie Faith asked a few of the shop keepers about the boy and they replied, ‘He is a bad boy. He cannot even walk. You do not want him.’ Two days later on Christmas Day, Auntie Faith returned to the bush where the boy was last seen. He was still there wearing rags for clothes and looked as if he had not bathed in years or eaten in days. Auntie Faith gave him a bath, new clothes, food, and took him back to the orphanage. At the time the home was full. There was no bed available. [Sounds like a familiar Christmas story to me…No room at the inn.] She told the children, ‘This is your Christmas gift’ and the children made room in their beds for him to sleep.”

I am so thankful for Auntie Faith’s faith in God and herself. She rescued this little boy from the bush on Christmas Day. She knew God would provide a way for her to care for this child even though the home was full and there was no bed for him to sleep. Two years ago Adolf was sleeping in a bush struggling for survival. Today he woke up to Christmas in America and Santa Claus. Although, I had plans to “tone down” our Christmas celebration this year to not overwhelm Adolf and Eva, the community surrounding us had other ideas! Friends and community members began dropping off gifts for him and I quickly caved to their pressures and had a big Christmas. A family from Adolf’s class even bought him a bike as his Santa gift. He is so excited about it and pushed it around our living room dreaming of the day his leg splints will be gone and he can ride around the neighborhood. As a community, we certainly spoiled this boy and he deserved it!

Adolf with his new bike!

Our not quite "toned down" Christmas.

If that wasn’t enough of a Christmas celebration, Uncle Laine also planned a party for Adolf, Eva, and the people involved in mission work in Uganda. Many of these people had met Adolf and Eva while volunteering at the orphanage. It was wonderful for Eva to socialize with other adults that understand her culture and heritage and for the guests to see how well Adolf is adjusting to life in America. It was a wonderful Christmas gift for all involved. 

The guests at the Christmas party for Eva and Adolf. I love how Adolf is front and center!

Oh wait! I almost forgot something super important. With all this talk about Christmas, I forgot to mention that Adolf is WALKING! He is out of his wheel chair and although his legs are still splinted from the thigh to ankle, he is able to move about and walk! Incredible! I was so excited when I saw him take those first steps at the doctor’s office last week. When he got home, all he wanted to do was go outside and walk so we took a walk to the neighbor’s house and back. He was smiling the entire way. He is such a fighter! We have another doctor appointment tomorrow and I look forward to more good news.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!  

When Adolf was in the hospital the one person he kept asking about was Baby Hayden. He was so happy to come home and be reunited with her! The Burn Center does not usually allow visitors under age 18, so she was not able to visit during his four days in the Burn Unit.

Adolf using his wheel chair as a walker on his first day with walking splints. He did not want to be idle. Baby Hayden is enjoying the ride!

Rudolph pancakes! A family tradition!

A Christmas Tradition is making Rudolph pancakes on Christmas Eve breakfast.

At the hospital....again

Me trying to comfort a not-so-happy Adolf.

I am again sitting in a quiet hospital room with a sleeping Adolf as he recovers from his second surgery. The first surgery removed the contractions and on Thursday Dr. Grossman preformed the skin grafts, which means in addition to pain in his leg he suffers pain in his abdomen, where the healthy skin was taken and placed on his legs. It is very important he remain still so the grafts can heal properly, so he is hospitalized with very little mobility for four nights. When he was brought into his room after the surgery, he woke and immediately started crying again. It brought back awful memories of Monday when he cried most on the day in pain. At least this time, I was more prepared emotionally to handle the situation. I immediately asked the nurse to administer additional pain medicine. She gave him some strong drugs that should have knocked him out, but he continued to cry and then started becoming hysterical. He screamed (in English) “Help me, Jesus! Help me!” In addition he became slightly combative with anyone trying to calm him. I asked the nurses for some anti-anxiety medicine to help calm his fears. They said they would talk to the doctor about appropriate medication to give him. In the meantime, it was horrible to watch him struggle. Eventually he fell asleep and most of the first 24 hours post-surgery was spent between periods of intense emotional outbursts, crying, and sleeping. The only time he smiled all day was when my husband, “Daddy” and his brother “Uncle Laine” walked into the room. 

Eva watching over Adolf

That evening my husband took Eva back to our house to gather some personal items so she could stay at the hospital with Adolf for the next few days. Just before they left, the nurses told us about the Hyperbolic Chamber. It is a super oxygenated pressurized tube that burn victims lie in for 1 hour 10 minutes two times a day. It is supposed to help with the healing process and make the skin grafts take hold faster. It is a clear tube with a TV on the outside so patients can watch TV while breathing pure oxygen. Eva explained to him the process and when we arrived in the room there was an adorable little girl (about 8 years old) getting ready for her treatment in the next chamber. She had a smile on her face and waved hello. Adolf responds well to other children, so I think it helped him to see her so eager to spend time in the chamber. They put a relatively calm Adolf into the chamber and my husband, Laine, Eva left for home. I agreed to remain behind until she returned. After about 40 minutes in the chamber, the nurses brought a screaming, hysterical, Adolf into the hospital room. He was terrified and trashing his hands about and trying to hit anyone that came close to him. Most of the time his eyes were closed and when they did open up, I could tell his mind was on a place far away from reality. I can only guess he was having recurring dreams or images of his original trauma and abandonment. For years, Adolf had to suppress the horror that he endured and with the renewed focus and pain in his legs he was really struggling psychologically. As he screamed and thrashed about I felt completely helpless. I didn’t have Eva here to talk to him. The nurses were running back and forth between his room and the nurses’ station trying to administer whatever medication they could give him to knock him out. I really didn’t know what to do to calm him and bring his mind back to the present. Before his surgeries, he used to go about the house singing a song in Rutooro. I have no idea what it means, but I began singing it to him. It was hard to do so as I was crying in the process, but slowly he started to calm down and then joined in singing with me. When I would sing an incorrect word, he would smile and say, “No, mama.” Eventually we got him transferred to his regular bed and slightly calmed down. When Eva returned, I had to leave to take care of my little ones at home. It was hard to leave, especially when he said, “No mama. Stay here. Sleep here.” 

Adolf in the Hyperbolic Chamber with Eva, my husband, and me

The Hyperbolic Chamber. I might freak out too if I was stuck in this for over an hour.

The next day I went to visit again not knowing what to expect, and when I walked in Eva looked very tired and said he screamed all night. He didn’t sleep at all and just screamed and cried. When he saw me he started screaming again and I was more forceful with the nurses asking for medication or a consultant with a psychiatrist. They administered very strong pain medicine, but I truly believe he was suffering the psychological scars of his injury as much as the physical scars. Again, they would see what they could do. His teacher had dropped off some schoolwork, so I got it out and started working on it with him. It really seemed to distract him and focus his mind on something else. A few times he would start crying and I brought him right back to his schoolwork and told him to focus on his problems. It was completely heart-wrenching when I had to leave again. He had hardly smiled all day, and when I said, “I need to go. I have to pick up Hunter from school.” He covered his eyes and started crying. Not the hysterical cry as earlier, but a sad cry. I leaned over his bed to give him a hug and he just started sobbing into my shoulder. “Don’t leave mama. Stay mama. Please stay.” Sobbing and sobbing. I wanted to hold him forever. I wanted to pick him up and rock him like a baby and say to him, “You are safe, Adolf.” You will walk again in a few weeks and no one is going to hurt you again.” There are so many things I wished I could have said to him. It is so hard to love someone so much and see them hurting.  It is even harder to not be able to communicate with this person. I just hope he could feel my love for him. As difficult as the moment was, I did have to leave. It took every ounce of my willpower to walk out of that room. I knew my little ones needed me at home because my husband is out of town attending the memorial services of his brother.

I returned to the hospital today and Adolf was in much better spirits. He actually smiled when I walked in the room! It was so wonderful to see that smile again. Today I brought in a bad of coins and some dollar bills and decided I would teach him and Eva about American currency. He had a lot of fun with it, and kept trying to hide the dollars in his bed covers. It was such a relief to have him in such better spirits. 

Adolf loving his lesson on American currency

For me personally, this has been a very hard week and I am so thankful for my friends that have stepped in to help. My heart is in many different places: with my husband and family at the memorial services, with my four kids at home, and at the hospital with Adolf. If there ever was a time I wished I could have a clone, it is now.  With all that has been going on, my Christmas shopping has been non-existent. I hope Santa is real, or my kids may not have anything under the tree this year! This next week will be just as busy, but hopefully filled with less sorrow and emotion: four singing programs, three holiday parties, Kelly’s 5^th birthday party and her birthday celebration at school.  I am truly blessed that I have many people that I can call at the last minute and they do whatever is necessary: pick up/drop off my kids at school, have play dates with my kids, bring meals to us, loan us DVDs for Adolf, help with this blog, and messages of encouragement. The list goes on and on! They are truly amazing. I would be in the loony bin if I didn’t have them here for support. If you are reading this, to my amazing friends I give you a huge “THANK YOU!”  I love you.

Before the surgery Adolf enjoyed decorating himself for Christmas!

Adolf driving himself down the sidewalk in his wheel chair! Nothing will stop this guy!

At the Hospital

It is speechless moments like this, that I am driven to write. I cannot do my feelings justice in short Facebook updates or in person when distractions abound. I am now sitting in Adolf’s hospital room after his first surgery and for the first time in four years his legs are fully extended. When Dr. Grossman came into the waiting room to tell us the good news Eva and I were filled with elation and thankfulness to God. What an incredible moment. We celebrated by finally eating breakfast in the hospital cafeteria. (I just hope I don’t end up in the hospital after eating it.) We then returned to where we are now in his hospital room. Eva immediately knelt down beside his bed and began to give thanks to God for all the wonderful things He has done in our lives. Some people may say it was “luck” that Adolf had this opportunity, I call it God. He is surrounded by faithful people that trusted in the Lord to help this poor child. Eva’s voice was calm and serene as I stared at him as he lay sleeping just like I used to watch my newborn babies sleep in their bassinet. He looked so peaceful. It was impossible not to let tears stream from my eyes. I thought of all the horrors he experienced and how alone he must have felt during those four years. I stood there crying, listening to his breathing, Eva praying and singing praises to God. After about 15 minutes, I sat down on the sofa bed in his room and knew I wanted to begin my blog right away, in this raw emotional state. 

A few moments later he woke up and began crying. He was in so much pain. It was unbearable to watch him suffer and cry. Eva was trying to calm him by speaking softly in Rutooro. He would answer and also say, “Help mama” in English. It was way too hard for words to describe my heartbreak. This poor child had suffered so much in his short life and now was in excruciating pain again. I tried my best to be strong for him and let him know I was there for him. I began to totally loose it when my thoughts drifted to the circumstances surrounding his initial injury. Who was there to comfort him? He didn’t have an Eva to sing to him or a mama to hold his hand and cry tears for his suffering. He was all alone. He is much stronger than I can ever imagine. The nurse heard his cries and came in to administer pain medicine. It seemed like it took a lifetime before he felt enough relief to fall back to sleep. 

He is expected to be in the hospital for today and possibly tomorrow. He will have to come back on Thursday for an additional surgery. I am so thankful he is getting help and that his legs are straight. It is truly a life-changing moment for this child. Please continue your prayers for us that I may be strong and Adolf’s pain subsides.

We knew this weekend would be the last weekend Adolf would be up and moving around for a long while so we tried to plan as much fun as possible. On Saturday the Children’s Burn Foundation had a holiday party for Adolf and other children that have suffered burn injuries. Uncle Laine joined us and Adolf and Laine had a great time playing all the games and collecting the prizes. My little Kelly convinced Eva to try cotton candy for the first time. She took some and said, “What do I do with this?” She laughed when I said, “You eat it!” She was very brave and laughed again after taking her first bite. What fun it is to share life’s simple pleasures with someone! Adolf also met Santa for the first time and asked for a bike. He is becoming more American by the hour!

Eva laughing at her cotton candy

Adolf and Hunter playing games at the holiday party

Hunter trying to win a prize

Maverick eating his hot dog lunch at the party

On Sunday after church we went to get our Christmas tree. I grew up in the Northwest where real Christmas trees are abundant. I have fond memories of trekking through the snow with my dad wielding an ax to locate the perfect Christmas tree. It is because of these childhood memories that I insist we have a real tree in our house. As they are very expensive in Southern California, I tell my husband the tree is my Christmas gift. I love walking into my house and smelling the fragrance of an evergreen tree. Adolf and Eva both rejoiced in the decorating of the tree and house for the holiday. Hunter and Kelly were very excited to show them how to hang the lights and ornaments. It was wonderful seeing their pride and watching them share our holiday traditions with Adolf and Eva.

Eva and baby Hayden at the Christmas Tree lot

We found our tree

Hunter and Maverick loading into the car

In addition to praying for Adolf and Eva, please pray for the entire Wagenseller family. While I was writing this blog, I got a call that my brother-in-law (Laine and Scott’s oldest brother) passed away suddenly last night at a friend’s house. The Christmas season is a horrible time to lose a family member. He brought vitality to our family gatherings that will certainly be missed.  Rest in Peace, Hudson Whitney.